Tuesday, September 25, 2012

This is The Voice

Of all the millions of singing competitions that are on television today, The Voice is my favorite. Mainly because I want one of those Star Trek-esque swivel chairs and Cee Lo's Miss Puurrfect...who has unfairly been replaced by a bird (Cee Lo's Lady, a pink cockatoo). What the hell, Cee Lo? That's messed up.

I NEED to know what that bird is thinking. Imagine all the stuff she has seen.

The chemistry of all four of the judges on The Voice is the steamiest of all the singing shows (Sorry, I love you Demi and Brit-Brit, but your chemistry just seems kind of stale on The X-Factor, I will no longer be watching).  Christina Aguilera is such a diva. I can't decide if I love her or want to smack her fake eye lashes off. Blake Shelton is, I'm pretty sure, always buzzed or drunk on whiskey. Cee-Lo is just wackadoodle (in a totally good way, might I add. I live for some of his comments). And Adam Levine is the glue trying to keep the competition the tiniest bit sane. Yeah, good luck with that, Adam, you  do realize WHO is sitting to left of you right?

I'm actually kind of annoyed that Usher and Shakira (who can't sing...so umm?) are replacing Xtina and Cee-Lo next season. Part of the biggest draw of the show was to see how divalicious Xtina was and what crazy outfit Cee-Lo was wearing. Usher and Shakira are really going to have to bring it, if I'm going to watch next season (Ah, who am I kidding you know I will, if only to see them fall flat on their faces).

But, if I'm being honest, the only part I like about The Voice are the blind auditions. The drama! The emotional back stories! The hilarious bickering between judges! What's not to love? After those are over, I could care less who wins the crown..trophy? I mean, who even won last year? Does anyone remember? I know it was team Blake, but I'm completey drawing a blank as to who it was and what they even sounded like. Shrug.

I kind of wish the competition would end with the blind auditions. Once one of the judges turns around it can be like the Oprah show:

"And you get a record deal! And you get a record deal! And you!" 

Now that is a genius idea.

The Voice is on NBC, Mondays and Tuesdays at 8pm.

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